After two years of infertility, I got pregnant with the use of Clomid. Fortunately, it worked the first time! I was pretty adamant about doing it more "naturally", but I had my best friend and my best sister in law and sister announce their pregnancies all within the month. They convinced me to get Clomid. After a couple of months, my fertility still hadn't returned (not unusual) and I was supposed to go and get a progesterone shot to get it started, so I could go on the next month's supply of Clomid. Well, while I was there I said that they might as well do a pregnancy test, but that I was sure I wasn't pregnant because I was well aware of the signs, and believe me, I had none! Obviously, I was pregnant! I just couldn't believe it! And the most shocking part, I was 12 weeks!! I was already past the 'danger time'! And what's worse was that I was farther along than my best friend! Those 7 1/2 weeks between my baby and hers were very hard for her! She also had struggled with infertility. Within 10 minutes of learning I was pregnant, I was having an ultrasound (something I would normally not want done, but with being on drugs, and having irregular cycles, and wanting a home birth, I had to know the due date and if there were multiples)! The picture couldn't have been more perfect! The little guy was moving all over the place! I was in tears the whole entire time! I was mad that the tears kept on impairing my vision!!! I did not learn the sex of the baby. One thing I will never forget is that the doctor (an infertility specialist) was asking if my husband was waiting in the waiting room. I couldn't talk and just shook my head. But why would he come to watch me get a shot in the butt?!!!!! That's what I thought I was going there for!!!! The pregnancy went by completely uneventful! And really I mean it! Absolutely no signs of pregnancy until I felt the baby move, and maybe a backache at the end! I was very lucky! I ate whatever I wanted! I started the pregnancy not a little overweight, but I think that I had changed my eating habits to the better that I actually lost body fat! It wasn't even very hard to do, and definitely not intentional! My mother was the midwife. At the time she and I lived in the same small town where I grew up. My due date was July 12. (I have since learned to pretty much ignore due dates--the baby will come when he/she is ready!) I started leaking water at about the ninth of July. A few days later I was losing my mucus plug. A few Braxon Hicks contractions, but not regular at all. Every night I went to bed thinking that this was going to be the last night I was going to bed pregnant! I thought this every night for two weeks!!! I started into good contractions in the evening of the 18th. They were ten minutes apart for a long time. I rested, wore what I wanted, moved to any place that was most comfortable. My mother and sister, her one year old son, and my teenage sister (to help and watch toddler) all came over late that evening. I was able to talk with my husband and all the people who I love all the way through. I remember at one point thinking, "I've had worse menstrual cramps!" I thought this was going to be a breeze! I went like that all night. Mom timed contractions for me (I think just to keep herself awake!) and everyone else slept! I was progressing very slowly! At about 7:00 A.M. I was finally getting to about 8 or 9 centimeters (funny how your memory fades!) And, yes, those contractions got to be quite hard, but not unbearable at all. It was such a gradual thing, that you just don't have a point where you say, now it hurts. We call Albert's sister now. At 9:00 A,M. I was finally allowed to push! I had reached 10! What a joy it was to push and do what my body was telling me to do!! Pushing was much MUCH better that not pushing! I was in a semi-reclined (mostly upright) position on the fold out couch in my living room. Even though it felt good to push, I didn't have an overwhelming desire to push like I had read so much about! One of my thoughts during this phase was, whatever happened to 'breathing the baby out' like the Bradley books said. I was really looking for that overwhelming desire. I never had it! After two hours of pushing, Mom said that if I didn't get down to business, we'd go to the hospital! I knew that there was NO WAY anyone was moving me from this spot, much less actually getting in the car and going 12 miles to the hospital! I knew at one point she thought she felt a butt, but then she said no, there's hair! That visualization help my outlook! To think that she actually felt hair!! Well, I did have to move, down on the floor and into a squat! I thought that there was no way I would be able to get there, but with some help I did! I squatted by the loveseat with my sister on one side and Albert on the other. I pulled down on their forearms. But let me say one thing, that OVERWHELMING desire I was looking for, well it was finally here! I could NOT help it! Their arms were a full week recovering!! The contractions were one on top of the other and my body just took over! I felt kind of strange. Like I was just an observer. I had witnessed about 10 births in my lifetime and I know that once the head comes out, the rest of the body is usually pretty quick-especially in a squat. Not in my case, the baby still came out slowly, in about three or four pushes. After the head, Mom checked my perineum and it was still intact! Then there was this sweet little baby just lying on the floor with perfect color! Mom hadn't seen one pink up so quickly (she's attended over a hundred births). It was a BOY! I was shocked because the whole pregnancy I thought I was having a girl. We didn't even know the sex for a few minutes--it didn't matter! He was absolutely perfect! He weighed 7 pounds 14 ounces and was born at 11:10 A.M. I usually don't believe in love at first sight, but not in this case! It was definitely love at first sight! I knew that my life had been changed drastically (and for the better!) in that very moment! My life had meaning. As it turns out, I did tear, but was fairly small. The reason second stage took so long is because he was double compound presentation. (Meaning that both arms were up next to face.) This was also the reason I tore. The circumference of his shoulder plus both arms was greater than his head! Albert cut the cord, didn't get to catch James, but considering the circumstances, he wasn't bothered by it! Oh well, next time he can! We buried the placenta next to a wild rose bush (that I always used to hate, but not anymore!). It had more blooms the following spring than I had ever seen!!! James nursed well right from the start. I haven't even had a sore nipple until he was 14 months! And it didn't last too long. James is still absolutely perfect and I fall more in love with him every day! I really do cherish our nursing relationship and can't imagine life without nursing. He's 19 months now. Also, I am so thankful I was able to birth at home. A completely intervention free birth, the way it was intended to be. It was very empowering. Not to mention how great it was to have who I wanted at the birth who cared about me and the ability to do what I wanted and what felt the most comfortable to me. It would be very hard for me to go a hospital now after a perfect home birth, and hopefully I won't ever have to!